Apple, please get the fuck out of my Windows

This post is going to be full of colorful language. Please leave the kids at home.

Every new release of Itunes seems to have become a test of my will and of my patience. I have very little of either when software that should just work shits on me every damn time.

First off, yes I have a Mac and a PC. I choose to run Itunes on my PC because I have a huge music library in excess of 500GB that takes a hell of a long time to load on a single core lowly Mac notebook. I manage my music (more accurately … I put up) with Itunes because I happen to like Apple mobile devices. That is where my love for Apple ends.

OS X does not impress me. There is nothing on OS X that I couldn’t do in Windows or Linux.

My hatred for Apple comes to a climax when they create software for Windows. If there was a decent application that could manage my library … playlists, import of ratings/playcounts, app store support … I would switch in a heartbeat. Instead, I have to put up with Itunes on Windows that makes me want to kick cute puppies every time I do it … yet do it I must for the sake of firmware upgrades.

The first Itunes I had issues with was with version 7.x. After an update to a newer version, Itunes refused to detect my Ipod Touch. My guess was it had something to do with the Apple Mobile Device software. I merrily hop my way to Itunes support and it suggests that I completely uninstall Itunes. The problem was the damn fucking installer didn’t want to uninstall Itunes. It kept rolling back before it finished uninstalling it. How fucking hard is it to delete the shit you put into a computer? I’m sure an army of Apple engineers could have figured that out … but yet didn’t because none of them probably use Windows, never mind test on it. That venture ended up in me reformatting my whole damn setup because I was so fed up with the installer.

That iPod touch by the way is sitting on my desk … a brick. Sending it to Apple for warranty repair got me a “Fuck you, there was physical damage”. Yes … a lot of physical damage just sitting on my desk after Apple yet again fucks me up the ass after a firmware update. No power, no nothing after a firmware update, yet they conveniently tell me I did physical damage to it. However, I come back to Apple for yet more pain and punishment and buy another 32GB iPod touch. I should have learned.

Fast forward a few months and Itunes 8 and the 2.1 firmware comes out. What a surprise, I get installation problems while installing iTunes. The install finishes with an error, so while the application was probably installed right (mostly), it wasn’t quite finished. Itunes still thought it wasn’t version 8 even though Help -> About Itunes clearly said I was running Itunes 8. Fucking Itunes and it’s bipolar disorder. Because of that, I couldn’t install the new firmware which was the very reasons I installed Itunes 8 in the first place.

I proceeded to uninstall Itunes and honest to God, it actually learned how to uninstall itself. Progress! I begin installation of Itunes again and it doesn’t install! It doesn’t even give you any damn hints on what might be wrong. Going to Apple’s support site pretty much told me what I already knew … that I did not like putting fingers up my ass. Very helpful.

If you have this problem, you can probably run msconfig and do a Selective Startup and unchecking Load startup items. Restart your computer and Apple should have a clean slate to do it’s install. I’m sorry Apple, you don’t own Windows, you are going to have to play nice with other software. You might be the head honcho over there with OS X, but I shouldn’t have to fucking do anything but install software to use a device I paid five hundred dollars for … TWICE. Get off your fucking high horse and get with the program or get the fuck out of my Windows. While I am on that subject, why the hell don’t you use Windows themes? I have Aero on because I happen to like Aero … so WTF!?

So yes, Apple Itunes installed successful after much bitching at the wall which I lovingly called Apple.

I proceed to plug my iPod in and Blue Screen of Fucking Death. I have not once encountered a BSOD in Vista since I began using it on launch date … yet Apple seems to bring the best out of Windows. A search around the internet seems to tell me the same thing … Apple is a douchebag. It’s so frustrating that it’s funny that every release of a new Itunes version is always like this. They never fucking ever do anything right … at least not on Windows … where oh yeah … more Apple device users use Windows than Macs. After reading through a forum thread where other people have been getting the same error, I start turning off other USB devices. It turns out, my HP printer is have emotional conflicts with Apple devices. The question is then, how did they work together before? The official Apple stance seems to always be … “it’s not me baby, it’s your other woman”. Seriously, own up to your damn mistakes. No one should have to start turning devices off because you fucked up when it was unfucked before.

Time wasted this go-around with Itunes … four hours.

Thank you very much … and oh yeah … can’t wait for a new version of the Zune. Please get the import of Apple libraries right.

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